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Happiness Hack #73 – Know that You are Enough

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You are enough.  It is ok to want to be more, but you will be happier and more successful if you can first understand that you are good enough just the way you are.   You are worthy of being treated fairly and with respect. You are worthy of feeling important and feeling like you can make a difference in the world. You have flaws and have made mistakes, but that is ok, because so has everyone else. Other people have more; more money, more recognition, more opportunities, more friends, and more of lots of things. But still other people also have less of those things. We are not keeping score. Your worthiness is not based on who has more or less. You are worthy because you are you; and you are different, not better or worse than anyone else. If you want to change you can.  But don’t change because you are not enough; change because you want to be more. Don’t torture yourself with the lie that you don’t measure up. Believe that you are good enough and you, like everyone else, can always get better.

Embrace happiness now.  Happiness should not be feared because it might be fleeting.  It should be embraced because it is here. You are worthy of feeling happiness.  You deserve to be happy.  Don’t let your fear of what you might lose, keep you from being happy about what you have.

Embrace being imperfect. The quest for perfection drives us to never feel good enough. Embrace your worthiness and grow because you want it for yourself, not because you want to measure up to someone else. It is ok to say “no.” You don’t have to do everything. Practice appreciating what you have and who you are. Reach out to your network for support. There are others in your life who believe in you, if you are willing to let them in.

 

You are enough and you will be happier, when you make that a guiding principle of your life.

 

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About 

My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

Happiness Hack #68 Pattern Recognition is the Key to Happiness

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Your brain is a pattern recognition machine. It takes thousands of tiny patterns and assembles them to form bigger patterns which you recognize as thoughts and memories.  Your memories are connected to still other patterns that evoke your feelings. Our brain evolved with a bias towards negative patterns so we could quickly recognize danger and when we should be extra cautious. As a result, we tend to accumulate more patterns associated with negative feelings rather than patterns associated with positive feelings.  This negative bias can impact our happiness.

The good news is you can change which feelings are associated with which patterns. For example your thought patterns about work may evoke negative feelings due to a myriad of negative experiences that have occurred throughout your career. But there are also positive experiences at work. With a little effort you can change the pattern connections in your brain about work from the negative experiences and feelings to the positive experiences and feelings.

The next time you find yourself dreading going to work or getting that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, stop and recall the things at work that make you happy. Getting to see your friends, completing an important project, and making a valuable contribution as a team member are all positive feelings that you can connect to your thought patterns to replace the negative feelings. Focus on how the positive experiences made you feel, particularly in a work setting.

Another option is to go to lunch with your friends or sit down with your spouse and talk about all the things you like about work and how positive they make you feel.  It may take 5 or 6 of these sessions before the connections start to switch from negative to positive, but over time you will notice a difference as your thought patterns about work become reconnected to your positive feelings.

The same processes can work for relationships, getting stuck in traffic, and many other patterns that evoke negative feelings.

Once you learn how to reconnect the patterns in your brain to positive feelings, you will be happier and more successful.

 

book_imgRW_Alexias_Legacy_book3d Happiness Hacks Cover

buy from amazon white small

About 

My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

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