11 Things That Decide The Future Of Your Love Relationship

By Rachel Pace

Relationships are a key indicator of both your happiness and your success.

Whether you’ve been in a relationship for a few years or you’ve just had those first few slightly awkward but really sweet first dates and you’re hoping they’ll call again soon, there’s one question that most people ask about their relationship at some point.

Where is this going?

If you’re in the first flush of relationship fun, you’re wondering if this could turn into something long term. If you’ve been together for a few months or a couple of years, you’re wondering whether you’re going to be settling down and maybe even having a family together. And even if you’re married, there’s a good chance that at some point you’ve wondered what the future of your relationship looks like.

So, does your relationship have a bright future? Well, we don’t have a crystal ball, but we do have a handy list of things you can look at to give you a sneak peek at the future of your relationship.

Here are 11 things that decide the future of your love relationship.

 

  1. Whether You Share Values

Shared values are the foundation of a strong relationship. You don’t have to agree on everything – different opinions are absolutely ok! – but having core values in common   is vital for long term relationship success. If you both value the same things in life, you’re more likely to stay the course.

 

  1. Whether You Can Have Healthy Fights

Every couple fights sometimes. It’s just human nature. However, whether or not you can have healthy fights has a direct impact on the future of your relationship. You need to know going forward that whenever you and your boo don’t see eye to eye, you can resolve it amicably.

 

  1. The Way You Measure Intimacy

Intimacy is about so much more than sex, gifts, or romantic gestures. Sometimes life will throw challenges your way that put sex on the back burner or drain your bank account so gifts are out of the question. But true intimacy is measured in being there for each other and being able to trust and talk to one another. Couples who know this  could well have a bright future ahead.

 

  1. Being Able To Work As A Team

Being in a relationship means being part of a team. Your partner is not your opponent, and there’s no room in healthy relationships for holding grudges or scoring points off each other. Couples who tackle life as a team are setting themselves up for a happy life together.

 

  1. Having Good Communication Skills

Good communication is so important in relationships. Good communication means you can weather life’s storms together without getting caught up in misunderstandings. No matter what life throws your way or what each of you is going through, you can meet each other in a place of honesty and openness.

 

  1. Your Levels Of Commitment

Relationships with strong futures are ones where both parties are committed to staying the course. If one of you isn’t all in, you’ve got much less chance in the long term. After all, why stay with someone who isn’t as committed to staying with you? Make sure you’re both on the same page.

 

  1. Whether You Make Each Other Laugh

Life will get rough sometimes. Jobs will fall through, someone’s health might suffer, families will bring stress and heartache. It sounds gloomy but these challenges are just part of life! If you can make each other laugh no matter what is going on, your relationship will be an oasis for both of you.

 

  1. The Ability To Make Compromises

Compromises are just part of being in a relationship. Of course you don’t have to give up yourself and your dreams – your needs and goals matter – but when you share your life with another person, you need to compromise at times. Learn the art of compromise and your relationship will have much better odds.

 

  1. How Much You Trust Each Other

Trust is key to long term happiness. It’s hard to build a future with a partner that you don’t trust. If you find yourself questioning what they say or where they’ve been, it’s time for a serious talk and perhaps a look at your attitude to them.

 

  1. Your Attitudes

Talking of attitude, it makes a massive difference. If you both approach your relationship with an attitude of positivity, appreciation, gratefulness and commitment, it will be much easier to keep it strong in the long term.

 

  1. Being Friends As Well As Partners

Look for a partner who is also your friend. Someone you can share anything with, confide in, talk to and laugh with. Someone you look forward to catching up with and sharing all your news at the end of the day. Those relationships are special, and likely to last.

There are many things that can decide the future of your love relationship – and several of them are in your hands.

 

 Author bio:- Rachel Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. Her mission is to provide inspiration, support and empowerment to everyone on their journey to a great marriage. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.

 

Keep Christmas Happy

For many of us, Christmas can be a very stressful time of year. The office party and other holiday commitments, finding the right gifts, managing expenses, and spending time with friends and family we don’t normally see. We get caught up in the overwhelming list of what we are obligated to do and often miss the joy and fulfillment those activities can bring.

To keep Christmas happy, start by knowing and being clear about your “Why”. Why are you going to the office holiday party? Is it to spend time with your friends and co-workers or because you feel like you just have to go? Know your “Why” before you go. If you don’t have a good “Why” then don’t go.

Are you rushing around stressed out about getting gifts for everyone, or are you enjoying the adventure of finding a gift you will be excited to see them open. Don’t buy gifts because it is a social requirement, find gifts make you think about the excitement you will get to see on their faces when they open them. Make your “Why” about the reward of giving instead of the guilt of not giving.

Are you worried about spending time with the uncle or cousin who drives you crazy? Is your “Why” all about obligation or is your “Why” about the warmth and fulfillment you will get seeing your parents, siblings, or other energy givers in your family circle?

Remember that Christmas is about Faith, Family, and Friends. It is a time of celebration, joy, and fulfillment. Don’t get lost in your obligations. Focus on your “Why” and keep your Christmas Happy!

 

 

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About 

My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

Why Should You Be Thankful?

The power of gratitude appears to be one of the most common and agreed upon themes in happiness research. The belief in its positive impact is almost universal. Gratitude is also a keystone habit, in that practicing gratitude is foundational and helpful to most of the other habits that improve happiness. Gratitude is geographically universal. Almost every culture has a practice of showing gratitude. In most cases, that includes giving thanks to a higher power or deity. Grateful people tend to find less conflict and more harmony in their relationships and interactions. They appreciate the action that was taken rather than being upset about the action that wasn’t taken. Feeling grateful has been shown to help people feel more energized, alert, and enthusiastic. People who are grateful tend to be more spiritual and more agreeable. Grateful people have a higher sense of belonging. They are less stressed, less depressed, and feel like they have more social support. This encourages them to be closer to people and to build harmonious rather than fractious relationships.

The practice of being grateful forces us to find the positive things in our environment and relationships that are applicable and specific to us. It’s a method of thinking positively that connects more to our feelings than to our logic. Some of the research showed that grateful people perform better specifically in areas where they practice gratitude. Sixth- and seventh-grade students who were asked to write what they were thankful for about school showed improvement in their performance at school. Gratitude also has a pay-it-forward characteristic that creates a virtuous circle. The more grateful we are, the more we want to help other people, which makes us feel better and more grateful. In turn, the people we help become more motivated to help others themselves.

Activities for Gratitude:

  1. Spend 10 minutes counting your blessings. Don’t stop writing until the 10 minutes is up. Don’t stop until you have over 100 items on your list. Most of us have a lot more to be thankful for than we realize. We take for granted the simple things in our lives, like a bed to sleep on and running water.
  2. Every morning, think about things you are grateful for and write down three of them. Do this daily to create the habit. Longer term, you will want to vary your timing based on how you feel and what works for you. For some people, doing this exercise weekly created more happiness than doing it daily. You can find the timing that works for you.
  3. Write a heartfelt letter of gratitude to someone important in your life and read it to him or her in person. The significant increase in happiness comes from actually reading it to them, not just in writing it.
  4. Write thank-you notes to five people and make sure they get delivered.
  5. Find a gratitude support partner. Someone you can work with for mutual support for regularly practicing gratitude.
  6. Introduce someone to something new that you enjoy. Show a friend your hobby. Show a new co-worker around the office. Show a visitor the great things in your town.

 

 

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About 

My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

Happiness Hack #13 – 100/0 Principle

How to Guarantee Your Relationships will Work

 

Positive Relationships is one of the strongest concepts supported by the Science of Happiness. The more and better your relationships are, the happier you are. A foundational element to creating and improving positive relationships is a concept Al Ritter writes about called the 100/0 Principle. Most of us go into a relationship believing that it should be a 50/50 exchange. Two people giving half each, adds up to 100% and then we will all be happy. The challenge is 50/50 doesn’t work a lot of the time. If one person is giving 50% but the other person is only giving 30% because of some challenge they are experiencing in their lives, the relationship suffers.

Give 100% and expect nothing in return. The other person can give 0% and you will still be there for them because you want to give and you believe that relationship is important. If you have no expectations that they will call you, or bring you flowers, or remember your birthday, or behave in any particular way, you will not have a reason be disappointed in them and they won’t feel pressure to be someone different from who they are. Most likely, and even though you are ok if they don’t, they will respond in kind. They will appreciate your efforts and they will give more than 0%, and often more than 50% back to the relationship. You will find abundance rather than scarcity in your relationship. Give 100% to the relationship and expect nothing in return.

 
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About 

My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

Happiness Hack #1 Find 3 Things to Be Grateful for Everyday

Happiness Hack #1 Find 3 Things to Be Grateful for Everyday

Research shows that people who express gratitude regularly are healthier, less stressed, and more successful. Gratitude gives you something positive to focus on as you tackle the challenges life throws at you.

Every morning when you wake up, think of three things that you are grateful for. They could be as simple as having running water (something 1/3 of the world doesn’t have) or a family, or a place to live, or a job. Remind yourself everyday about the good things in your life.

 

Happiness Hack #2  – End the Day on a Good Note

Happiness Hack #3 – Schedule 15 minutes every morning for prioritized “Me” time

Happiness Hack #4 – Practice Autonomy

Happiness Hack #5 Make Time To Exercise

Happiness Hack #6: Find Flow

Happiness Hack #7 Keep a Happiness Jar

Happiness Hack #8 Finding Meaning

Happiness Hack #9 Start Small

 

About 

My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

mindfulness, focus on the now, don't worry about the past or fret about the future

How to be Happier by Practicing Mindfulness

Oppenheim said “the foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise man grows it under his feet.”

Mindfulness is about looking at what is around us and under our feet rather than missing the “now” because we are worrying about the future.

One of our biggest challenges in life is focusing on what is right in front of us. We are either chasing the happiness that will come if all the stars align, or regretting the past where we made mistakes and didn’t do things we should have done.

Practicing Mindfulness is one way to experience the gift of the present. Observing and appreciating what we have and what is around us today helps us find peace. Having gratitude that we have made it where we are, sets us up for a better future by giving us hope and confidence.

Mindfulness has been shown to improve immune function as well as reduce muscle tension, headache, and other forms of chronic pain. It has longer-term impacts such as lowering blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Mindfulness has also been shown to help with stress, anxiety, and depression.

Mindfulness can help with diet and weight management. Many of us are caught up in “mindless” eating. We are too busy to pay attention to what or how much we are putting into our mouths. Research by Liesal showed that women who are mindful about eating ate fewer calories, and men who consciously focused on chewing their food at least 40 times ate 12% less than those who didn’t.

Mindfulness is the ability to remove the distractions of what might happen and what did happen, and focus on what is happening right now, this second. It includes being curious and open to discovering new inspirations and information in the current setting. As a society, we tend to place a high regard on our ability to multitask. The challenge is that, according to an increasing amount of research, multitasking doesn’t really work. We tend to shift between multiple tasks quickly and for short periods of time. We are eliminating parts of the task in order to quickly shift in and out of it. The parts we are eliminating include focus, thoughtfulness, and appreciation. Instead of living in the moment, we are attempting to live in several moments. Think of one of the most common and rude forms of multitasking: we are having a conversation with a person and we receive, read, and answer a text while they are talking. We are physically in the same space as the person and we probably get the overall idea of what they are saying, but we miss the opportunity to connect with them, to stop and really think about and feel what they are communicating. Most importantly, we are not allowing time to stop and appreciate the here and now of our lives. We are focused on the message on our phone which is often trivial in comparison to our feelings about the person with whom we are actually visiting. The result is, we go from activity to activity throughout a day or a week and our memories are not of the great moments in our lives, they are about how busy we have been. We have missed our opportunities for happiness by attempting to do everything rather than choosing the few things that will make us happy and productive.

To be more mindful, wear a rubber band around your wrist and pop it or move it to your other wrist every time you catch yourself worrying about something you did in the past or what might happen in the future. Stop and appreciate your surroundings. Give people your full attention when you are with them. Slow down and enjoy your food. Think about the smell, taste, and texture of every bite. Schedule electronics free zones and times so you can absorb your surroundings or just think without distraction.

“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it is called the present.”
Alice Morse Earle

About 

My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

Create the perfect Valentine’s Day – Give 100% and Expect Nothing

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: They’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place you go to take.” Anthony Robbins

A foundational element to creating and improving positive relationships is a concept Al Ritter writes about called the 100/0 Principle. Most of us go into a relationship believing that it should be a 50/50 exchange.  Two people giving half each, adds up to 100% and then we will all be happy.  The challenge is 50/50 doesn’t work a lot of the time. If one person is giving 50% but the other person is only giving 30% because of some challenge they are experiencing in their lives, the relationship suffers.

How do you feel when someone reaches out to you? When they give you 100% because they know you are going through a rough patch or they are just that kind of person.  For most of us, that is a person we describe as a true friend or soul mate. “She was there for me when I needed her most.” What if you could be that person most of the time in all your important relationships?  What if you became the person who gave what people needed and expected nothing in return, because you recognized the reward in giving?

That is the key to the 100/0 Principle and to great relationships. Give 100% and expect nothing in return. They can give 0% and we will still be there for them because we want to give and we believe that relationship is important.

It is not easy. Our old habits and our fear that our love will not be returned is strong.  So just try it on Valentine’s Day.  Give 100% and expect nothing in return.  See how it makes you feel.  If it works, try again another day.  If you slip and find yourself upset because you do have expectations and they are not being met, no problem, it is natural and an ingrained habit. Adjust and try again.

If you give 100% and expect nothing in return, how many of your relationships will be successful? The answer is all of them. Every single one will work because you are 100% committed and the other person doesn’t have to do anything. If you have no expectations that they will call you, or bring you flowers, or remember your birthday, or behave in any particular way, you will not have a reason be disappointed in them and they won’t feel pressure to be someone different from who they are. Most likely, and even though you are ok if they don’t, they will respond in kind. They will appreciate your efforts and they will give more than 0%, and often more than 50% back to the relationship. You will find abundance rather than scarcity in your relationship.

How good would you feel if you took control of all your relationships? If you had the opportunity to give to people unconditionally? If you had no expectations and therefore could not be disappointed, but instead had true appreciation and gratitude for everything the other person did? How good would you feel if you knew you were the person that people said “She likes me for me. She lets me be myself and loves me for it.” By following Al Ritter’s 100/0 Principle, you can be that person.   Try it on Valentine’s Day.

About 

My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

4 Ways to Know You are Spending Time with the Right Person on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day can come with lots of anxiety and stress. You may feel pressured to spend time with someone, even if it is the wrong someone. So how do you know if you’re spending time with the right person? Here are four questions you can ask yourself.

1. Can you be yourself? We are all individual and different. We all have things that we think are fun and interesting, but we are not sure others will share that appreciation. We have our own hopes, and thoughts, and dreams. We all have beliefs and values that make us unique. Can you bring that person, the real you, on the date? Can you be the person you really are, with all the flaws and challenges that go along with your strengths and greatness? Can you let all that shine on this special day and know the person across from you will love you and appreciate you more because of who you are. Or are you spending time with a person who wants you to be someone else? Are you hiding the real you because you are afraid they won’t accept you if they know who you really are? On Valentine’s Day be yourself. You have the right date if you know they will embrace the real you and find it fun and interesting.

2. Are they interested in the authentic you? Spend time with someone who wants to know the real you. You may not have picked the right gift, your clothes may not look exactly like you want them to, and your hair may just not be cooperating. Will that ruin the whole day or can you be comfortable with being imperfect and human around them? Are they focused on your flaws or do they want to know what excites you and what keeps you up at night? Don’t waste time with people who don’t appreciate what you bring to the relationship. The right date is interested in you and everything that package includes; the good and the bad.

3. Are they energy givers? Do you get pumped and excited when you are around them? Do they make you feel stronger and more capable? Do you walk away thinking about the possibilities in life and how you can’t wait to spend more time with them? Or do they bring you down and wear you out. Do they suck your energy and make you feel drained. We are not talking about people who are having a bad day and need your support get them back on track. Helping them feel better, helps your energy. We are talking about the people that want to drain your energy no matter what is happening. The right date has a positive impact on your energy. They fill your cup rather than draining it.

4. Can you do the same for them? This is the most important question for your happiness. Can you accept them as they are? Can you appreciate them when they are their authentic selves rather than expecting them to act differently? Can you give them energy and help fill their cup rather than just expecting them to fill yours? With the right date you can be comfortable being yourself and you can let them be themselves. You can let go of your expectations and enjoy being in the moment.

Creating Your Authentic Valentine’s Day

1. Know it won’t be perfect. You are not perfect and neither is your date. Roll with it. Don’t focus on the imperfections and what doesn’t work. Focus on the great things and what you appreciate and enjoy.
2. They didn’t read this article. They don’t know what you are thinking. We all have different backgrounds, understandings, and perspectives. Share your thoughts and feelings with them. Be open to whatever happens.
3. Have a sense of humor. If you can laugh at yourself and at any situation you will be more comfortable and your date will be more comfortable as well.
4. Support their hopes and dreams. No matter the relationship, we want to be around people who support our hopes and dreams. The people who believe in us even when we don’t believe in ourselves. Be that person for them.
5. Don’t protect yourself from sadness. Experience your feelings deeply. Happiness cannot come if we are numb to sadness. We all have ups and downs in our lives. We have things that go well and things that go horribly wrong. That is life. Experience life; appreciate the bad as well as the good. Be engaged with your life. Don’t skim through life in an attempt to avoid the negative moments. Sadness will come, but it will also pass. Give wholeheartedly and experience the results whatever they may be.

Be vulnerable. Be authentic. Be happy!

“I don’t know a perfect person. I only know flawed people who are still worth loving.” ― John Green

About 

My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

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3 Ways to Find Happiness While Building Success

 

It is a common mantra that “If I work enough hours I will get that promotion.  Once that day arrives, I will have time to do the things that make me happy.”  The challenge is that day never comes.  There is always another project, promotion, or raise in the future.  So we work longer and longer hours and miss more and more opportunities to be happy.  Which, without us realizing it, is hurting our chances for success.

 

Take a Time Out.  Find ways to be happy and successful.

 

  1. Get into Flow – One of our opportunities to be happiest at work is when we are so focused on a project or task that we lose track of time.
    1. Find a project or activity where you are confident in your abilities but it is still challenging for you.
    2. Turn off all distractions – e-mail reminders, texts, instant messages, and other interruptions.
    3. Work for 90 minutes without interruption and see how much you can get done.
    4. Then take 15 minutes to walk around and re-energize.

The key is to not work for 10 hours straight with 12 distractions per hour.  You leave work feeling tired without feeling like you accomplished anything.  Find Flow in 90 minute distraction free intervals.   You will be more productive and happier at the same time.

 

  1. Add Value – We are happier when we know our work makes a difference and matters to someone. But much of our work tends to be low value necessary evils. Things we do to make sure we don’t miss anything or because it is easier than tackling that big project that will require our full concentration and effort.
    1. In your role, what actions can you take that will add the most value to the company. What will make a difference for someone?  Make a list.
    2. Work on the top 3 every day.   Get the high value activities done early before you get lost in the mundane.
    3. Once you are confident you have added value and made a difference, then you can work on the mundane activities that are always nagging at you.

If you focus your time on adding value and making a difference you will be happier and more successful.

 

  1. Build Positive Relationships – Positive relationships are one of the biggest contributors to happiness.  Fortunately, they are also one of the keys to success.
    1. Spend times with friends and family.  It will provide a diversity of thoughts to help you solve problems more creatively as well as giving your mind a chance to rest and re-energize for better productivity later.
    2. Make friends at work – the resulting support systems will provide support when times are tough and will create inter-department networks that make implementing projects and ideas faster and easier.

Teamwork is a key to success and productivity and the social interactions will help you be happier.

 

Don’t skip over your opportunities for happiness.  Flow, adding value, and positive relationships will make you happier and more successful.

About 

My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

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