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Happiness Hack #59 – Choose 3 Small Things

In a chaotic world it often feels like we don’t have control and that life is just rushing at us with a constant stream of challenges and things to do. To be happier, practice your autonomy. Research shows that we feel happier when we have autonomy and can make decisions about what will happen in our lives rather than being victims of the constant chaos of life.

So to be happier, take control of a small part of your life by finding 3 small things you can accomplish today. This is your list and can include things you want to do for others or small actions that will make your day a little better. The most important aspect is that you choose them. Then, make sure those three things get done. Try to get them done earlier in the day if possible, so there is less chance of being interrupted by the chaos of life. Each day pick 3 more things that you can control and you can accomplish.

Feeling like you can gain a little more control over the chaos of life will help you feel a lot happier.

 

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My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

Alexia’s Legacy – Make a Plan

She was tragically taken from us, but her legacy lives on.  Every few weeks we will share excerpts from the book.

 

From Alexia’s Journal: I dream of a very productive week! I will give my undivided attention to my work and get well ahead so I can have a FUN, RELAXING weekend in College Station.

 

Ray,

Today was a smooth transition back into work and classes! After work and class, I made a plan for this week and got some RA work done. I got a workout in and am now off to bed!

Have a wonderful rest of the week!

Alexia

 

Lesson: Make a Plan.

Leaders make plans. Many people romanticize leadership as the charismatic person who just naturally knows what to do next. Although the “fly by the seat of your pants” and “instinctively know what to do” type of leadership might exist, it is not very common. Leadership can be as simple as being the person who takes time to make a plan. To be a better leader start by thinking about the big picture and taking time to organize your tasks and priorities so the next steps are clear. As the “organized person” you could become the de facto leader because you won’t be overwhelmed by the hundreds of swirling options. If you take the time to group or categorize those options and create a plan you can help get the team started.

Many people believe they are not the most organized person on the team. As a leader, your plan may be as simple as finding the most organized person and working with him or her to help you organize next steps and actions, prior to the team meeting. In other words, make a plan to recruit help in making a plan.

 

A few other benefits of being an organized leader:

 

  • Your team will have more confidence in someone who is clear on next steps.
  • Your team will become more cohesive as they accomplish small tasks together on the way to a larger goal.
  • Your team will begin to work independently as they create successes with your short term plan and can begin to visualize the long term potential.

 

Opportunity: Make a Plan for Your Next Team Meeting

  1. Pull your list of goals and priorities from the previous chapters.
  2. Brainstorm a list of actions you should take to reach those goals.
  3. Put the list in sequential order. What has to happen first before anything else can be done? What has to happen second? For items that don’t have a natural sequential order, but them in order of priority. Largest priorities first.
  4. For each action, write down the name of the person on the team who would be the best leader for that action. Who has the most interest or relevant experience and knowledge?
  5. Take your plan to the meeting and offer it to the team. Ask for volunteers and recommend the people on your list. Explain to the team why they would be best suited for the role.

 

Opportunity: Make a Plan for Your Week

 

  1. What are your goals and priorities?
  2. What do you have to accomplish or attend to this week?
  3. Put time on your calendar for each activity.
  4. Color code the activities by level of importance.
  5. Remember to leave open time for the unexpected.
  6. Follow your calendar and see how much you get done.

 

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MyHappiness App

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About 

My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

Alexia’s Legacy – There Will Be Chaos. Learn to Roll with It

She was tragically taken from us, but her legacy lives on.  Every few weeks we will share excerpts from the book.

Ray,

Sorry! I thought about that this morning. We have had a program going on in the hall all week, Assassins, and every evening there have been discipline things to deal with… They are getting way to crazy and disobedient with the rules! That is preoccupying some of my time combined with a big midterm I took today and the big project due next week, I have been scatter brained and falling asleep as soon as I sit in bed! I have even fallen asleep before getting to my journals, or even while studying, a few of these past nights. I have still been sleeping seven to eight hours and getting my exercises in. I usually am able to squeeze some extra me time in on top of what I have scheduled weekly, but this week I haven’t found much of that extra time. 

Otherwise things are going well! Just staying VERY busy! 

Hope all has been well with you! How did your meetings with Wayne and Marty go?

Thanks,

Alexia 

 

As a Resident Assistant for an on-campus dorm, Alexia and her team had to be available for whatever might come up with students who are fighting through the pressures and challenges of making their grades, figuring out who they are, and deciding what they will do with the rest of their lives. Many of the most dramatic events occur in the middle of the night and there is not an opportunity for planning.

 

Hey Ray,

Unfortunately, I had to deal with a missing person situation for quite some time tonight. I just wrapped up writing my report for housing and am finally able to lay down for bed! I did have some me time today and some exercise time. I did my journals and am off to bed. Good night.

Alexia

 

Ray,

I had to deal with more crazy on call situations tonight so I am just getting to bed but I did get a nap today and some me time so I’m feeling pretty good and pretty refreshed!

Alexia

 

Ray,

Unfortunately some RAs were dealing with two different students in crises/upset student situations tonight. Because of those, I am unfortunately just now getting showered and ready for bed.

I will update you more on my meeting with Professor Staff and her advice for my career going forward on Monday when we meet.

Have a good night (or I should say morning!)

Alexia

 

Ray,

 

Today I had plenty of rest and me time to help hold off the cold that I have been feeling coming on. I am now all done with on call stuff. Hopefully I won’t have any more pages in the middle of the night!

Alexia

 

Ray,

You already got a brief overview of the RA staff meeting and the meeting with the pre-law advisor. Everything seems to be in a better/more hopeful situation than before, so that’s a plus! I can give you more details and we can talk through an action plan on Monday.

A bit of devastating news tonight… My laptop gave me issues turning on last night and when I called tech support tonight they said my lap top is no longer under warranty. They were able to tell me what the most likely issue is, the motherboard, based on my description of the problem and advised me to get it checked at a Best Buy to confirm the issue. Downside is they no longer make my laptop so even if I can confirm the issue, parts probably are scarce and potentially costly, if even still available. The whole situation will put a strain on my always staying productive between classes and commitments, but I will have to find a way to make do until I can resolve the issue!… Yet another curve ball and life lesson in learning to be adaptable!

I also got some exercise in today so between it all, I have had about all my energy sucked out of me for today! So, I am off to finish my journals, crash, and sleep in a bit tomorrow morning!

Have a good night and I will talk to you tomorrow!

Alexia

 

 

Lesson: There will be chaos. Learn to roll with it.

 

“I am sorry to say so,

but, sadly, it’s true

that Bang-ups

and Hang-ups

can happen to you.”

Dr. Seuss

No matter how well you plan or how organized you are; the chaos of life can and will interfere. Our computer breaks down, our car won’t start, or someone on the team doesn’t deliver as promised. When these challenges arise, you can worry, scream, and stomp your feet; or you can calmly assess the situation and determine what to do next. You can focus on the disruption and challenge or you can focus on getting back on track. People want to follow leaders who are calm in the face of new challenges and unexpected roadblocks. They want leaders who have or can create a Plan B without having an emotional meltdown. They will look for you to remain confident, adjust, and adapt, so they can remain confident and flexible. As a leader, accept that unexpected challenges will disrupt your best plans at the worst times. Take a moment to feel the frustration. Then quickly consider the impacts, evaluate your options, and create a list of next steps. Stay calm and quickly adapt to those challenges. The chaos of life is going to happen. You can let it ruin your plans and your day, or you can adapt and change, and be happy anyway.

Opportunity: Evaluate how well you are adapting to the chaos that interrupts your plans.

 

 

 

book_imgRW_Alexias_Legacy_book3d Happiness Hacks Cover

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MyHappiness App

Try the My Happiness App

About 

My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

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