What if they are not doing what you want them to do?

What You Can Control vs. What You Can’t Control

 

The world is full of things we can’t control. Something like the weather seems obvious. Yet how often are we unhappy because the rain ruins our plans?

It may be less obvious that we can’t control the actions of another person, even someone close to us. Our ability to influence them makes us believe we can control their actions, but eventually we are disappointed when they make decisions and take actions different from what we would have preferred.

When we start listing the things we can control and the things we can’t, the things we can control are centered on us and our actions while the things we can’t control are external to us–people, nature, and the stock market, to name a few.

Start with the list of things you can control. Now list the decisions you are making. For example, you can control what you wear in the morning, what you eat, and how you get to work. You can even control which job you have. This is important; if you say “I have to work, I don’t have a choice,” you are still making a choice. You could choose at any moment to be homeless and hungry. It may not feel like a good choice, but it is still a choice you’re making that many others have made differently. Recognizing your power to choose is important to feeling autonomy. Your choice may be to work at a place you don’t like or risk not having enough money to live where you want to live or eat what you want to eat, but all of those are choices you are making. Appreciating the opportunity to make those choices is an important part of improving your happiness.

What you can control:  Who you hang out with

What you can’t control: How they behave or react

 

What you can control:  Where you work
What you can’t control: How nice your co-workers are

 

What you can control:  What time you wake up
What you can’t control: Physically, your body requires sleep

 

What you can control:  What clothes you wear
What you can’t control: What people think about the clothes you wear

 

What you can control:  What time you leave for work
What you can’t control: Whether or not there is construction or an accident that creates heavy traffic

 

Add Your Own:

What you can control:
What you can’t control:

 

What you can control:
What you can’t control:

 

What you can control:
What you can’t control:

 

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About 

My Passion is helping people become successful and happy. I have found that many people want to be successful but just don’t know how. More importantly, people want to be successful because they feel that reaching some success pinnacle will result in them becoming happy. The research and my experience has shown that just the opposite is the case. Success does not lead to happiness. Happiness leads to success.

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